Rants of a Mad Woman [entries|friends|calendar] Your Obscenity Amuses Me [ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ] [ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

just a tweak of jealousy [12 Jul 2010|02:00am] Life can be very unfair. It seems as though some must struggle for the very little that they do and then there are some who never have to work for anything but have everything they could ever ask for. Why is that? As I enter into a new era of my life, I've often wondered why I must struggle to achieve anything. Opportunities never fall into my lap like it does others and it's a little mind boggling at times. There's a saying in Chinese that goes something like "feng shui lun lau jun" but it seems like it hasn't reached me yet. Or maybe it has and ended in the survival of a very dumb attempt. Or maybe it's not dumb. Having only ever been self-diagnosed, I'm a little weary of telling my MD only because I'm no longer a victim of it's disease process. But I can feel it. It's like my shadow. Always only a step behind me and if I'm not careful, may one day pounce on me. Maybe I should consider being medicated. Maybe. But yes, so not fair. I often joke that I should just marry a doctor and keep the b/f on the side. One of my male co-workers said to me that maybe I should just marry b/f and keep the doctor on the side. I couldn't help but laugh. I always say "damn my morals and values. they prevent me from doing so many things." =) I want an easier life than that with which I have. I don't want to have to work for every little bit of thing because I'm tired. I'm tired of fighting to get there and fighting to prove I'm right when I always am. Ha...makes me wonder what would have happened if I chose the 2 weeker over my current. What would have happened? Would I be happier? Would my life remain the same? Damn my desire to write in that Santa Monica hotel 4 years ago. Things would have been different if it weren't for that one moment of weakness. Speaking of which, I miss california. Plans for our vacation has come to a halt due to some unanticipated problems. Still visiting DW though. I miss there too. I wanted to take melissa with me if it weren't for the fact that we couldn't go in august. The 7 of them light up my life. Yes, 7. The brood's getting bigger and we're getting poorer. I was told recently that more than likely, we would be the guardians to 3 of them should anything happen. You know how frightening and heartwarming that is at the same time? It hasn't been legalized yet but that's the idea. I miss LJ. You feel a little worn and old. You feel like a 92 y/o female with multiple disease processes coursing through it's body whose family members refuse to let go of. But I miss it too. And I don't want to let go either. Let's just trach you and keep you running with the help of modern medicine to keep you with us just a little longer. Just Try To Blow Me Out

[20 Dec 2009|03:47pm] Why is it everytime we get more than 10 inches of snow, I'm not home and wrapped up nice and toasty on my couch? We got 18-20 inches yesterday/last night. My baby's snowed-in in the parking lot. =( Just Try To Blow Me Out

[04 Nov 2009|09:54pm] I know she steals. And for the first time ever, I've seen something of mine stolen. I can't prove it. But I hope nothing but bad juju on her. Her skills are mediocre at best especially when seen with a close-up. It's almost laughable that there are people who actually believe her stories. Mediocrity hiding behind a thick veil of charm and and tricks of the eye. Bad Juju on you. Karma will get you one way or another. Just you wait. Just Try To Blow Me Out

[16 Sep 2009|06:57am] Holy sh*t....I just sat up for about 6 hours straight doing my ACLS training.... I'm a little late in completing it but now I understand why everyone at work was complaining about it. On the plus side, it's helping me rearrange my sleep schedule so I can do nights on thursday and friday. For those who love me, please hope and pray I get cancelled. Nights isn't hard but it's a pain in the butt when I have to re-rearrange my schedule again since I'm working days on tuesday. ~_~ Wish I talked them into letting me just do days with no rotations. *sigh* Just Try To Blow Me Out

[16 Mar 2009|02:59am] Think it's time for a change. =) Think it's time to start writing more often. Reads: "The Other Boleyn Girl", "Wicked", and The "Twilight" series (I just saw an icon pic that said "JK Rowling proved young adults books can be 500 pages long, Stephanie Meyers proved that it shouldn't" - Loved the idea but hated the writing). I'm writing at 3AM because I have a lot on my mind that I can't get out. In the last 3 months, I've bought about 6 liquid eyeliners and about 10 mascaras (lost count somewhere along the line). I'll end up doing a review sooner or later and I'll have pictures to prove it damnit! Found out that one of my favorite talk show's is Chealsea Lately. I get her. J at work needs to get slapped. Noob who can't handle the work load. After moving, I realized I hate it here. The apt is nice but it's harder to get out. Looks like I'll be buying my very first car this year. Got a good chunk saved up. I also started to do one of those saving tricks where I put all the change in a jar at the end of the day....In one month, I saved over $150. Though I cheated. I had to save the quarters for doing laundry so to even it out, I would put $1 and $5 dollar bills in to try to counter the lack of quarters (the ones I had in my pocket at the end of the day at least). And I only put money in there 3 days a week because I really only use cash on the days I'm at work. Vegas here I come soon. O and Ka tickets are already ordered. I need more reading material. My feet are cold. >=( Just Try To Blow Me Out

The kids that made my day within the last month [22 Dec 2008|10:47pm] Melissa (6) and Jessica (3) stayed over this past weekend. Cooked them dinner, bathed them, watched a whole bunch of movies, and proceeded to drive jess around for 30 mins to make her go to sleep at 1am. She then woke us up at 8AM crying and cried out "IT'S MORNING!" as if she was said to see the night end. Felt like parents. Without having to keep them forever. The perfect kind of parents. Haha. Seriously, it has to be one of the reasons why I love the b/f so much. His family is amazing, just as neurotic as mine without the pent up anger, and the kids are just so....wonderful. Brendon (4) stops me every now and then and says, "I love you Annie Jai Jai." He even asked to have me as a christmas present. Just slap a bow on me. =) His giggle is infectious and he drools worst than a bulldog but you just can't help but fall in love with such a sweetheart. Rina (5.9) is having "woman-problems". She pms's like the best of us. And Rebecca (1.75) is "the one we don't like." Haha. She the spoiled one who gets whatever she wants and she's such the princess. Plus she acts like she's bipolar. One minute she likes us and then the next she doesn't. And then there's Allison (0.4). Really, one of the most amazing baby girls ever. Never cries, gnaws on your finger like it tastes good, and attempts to suck on your clothes and neck while she pulls on your hair. Always laughing, and always looks like a boy in her hand-me-down blue outfits. The adults are fun too. Went shopping with his sister on Black friday and she got her fuzzy balls stuck together. We laughed....and laughed...and laughed. It was hilarious for no reason. And he's not bad either. He's pretty clueless when it comes to women.... he likes to pretend he knows a lot but he doesn't. However, we're the goofiest couple you'd ever meet complete with choke holds and pretend fist fights. =) The downside though....He's not very comfy to lay on. =( I need to fix that. 4 Flickers| Just Try To Blow Me Out

[02 Dec 2008|12:57pm] Well, in the last two weeks of being offline, I've moved, stayed up 24.5 hours for shopping in which I didn't buy anything and grew up just a little bit more. =) 1 Flicker| Just Try To Blow Me Out

Seriously. Our generation is doomed. [15 Oct 2008|08:52pm] I know there are always going to be people in fields that don't belong there. But nursing has gone to a point that makes me want to rip someone apart. The classes...I wouldn't say are extremely hard so with some memorizing and studying, just about anyone can become a nurse. Yes. I said it. However, for one to truly be a nurse, you must care, and you must use common sense and judgement. Yet some of the newbies at my work place are so high on their horse that they don't understand what kind of situation they place whoever it is that takes over their patients. This weekend was my weekend to work. I passed on 2 patients who were aspiration precautions (aka choking). One patient was advised by speech therapy to be NPO (nothing by mouth) and the other had a JG tube (feeding tube). Both were on TPN (IV feedings), had NPO orders in, on Aspiration precautions, and I specifically relayed the message that neither one of those patients can have anything by mouth except for ice chips. The nurse nodded at me after I said it every time. I come in the next morning to her telling me "They got all their PO (by mouth) medications since there was no NPO order in. Plus, the night float (night shift doctor) was right there and she didn't say nuffin'." I was shocked. First off, if there's no NPO order in, you call to have it put in. Secondly, you should know that night floats have no idea what's going on because they're not the primary care team and they cover about 200 patients. But you decided that giving them their meds were okay when some of them are gargantuan and could be aspirated into their lungs?!? SERIOUSLY!?! I told her again at that point that they were SUPPOSED to be NPO. She replied "Oh well, there was no NPO order in." and looked me straight in the eye. She goes and starts giving report to a 20+ year seasoned nurse and she set her straight stating that the NPO order was in and that they were standing orders that don't expire. None of the nurses that were in the room who heard the conversation could believe their ears. I in turn went to the primary team and told them that but was reprimanded by that same seasoned nurse because she says it's our license on the line and that she's a new nurse. "We all make mistakes." I understand that. But what kind of fucking stupid ass nurse are you when you trust night float and when you disregard what the previous nurse told you?!? I swear it was like she knew she was smarter than me or something or more seasoned than me so she decided not to "take my word for it." Furthermore, her preceptor was working that night so it makes me wonder what kind of advice she got if she even asked for any. I so wanted to flip out on her. I so wanted to tell the supervisor. But I didn't. Don't ask me why. And this isn't the first time she's pulled some kind of stupid stunt like this. Last time was an infiltrated IV she kept pushing steroid through even though it was inflamed, red, and cool to the touch. To top it off, that last scenario, the woman had a vicious asthma attack which means she needed the steroids that much more. When the patient told the her that it hurt when she flushed the line, she just said that it was normal and that night shift would come and change it. WTF?!? ARE YOU SERIOUS?!? REALLY! With these types of nurses, nursing will go to hell and the rest of us, the ones that are going to have to depend on these young'uns in the future should fear for your lives because they're going to end up killing their patients. 3 Flickers| Just Try To Blow Me Out

For the next 4 days... [17 Sep 2008|09:31pm] I will be out of commission. I will be frolicking around NY. I will be shopping till my little heart's content. And that's all I wanted for the last month and a half. 11 Flickers| Just Try To Blow Me Out

[08 Sep 2008|07:36pm] Wedding from hell yet again. After 1.5 hours of sleep, I got up at 2:30AM to throw my hair into a bun and head over the brides place. Got there at 4AM to start the make-up. After 7 hours, I finished 7.2 people (.2 for the little flowergirl who wanted gloss...she was so cute). I didn't eat and barely drank anything. I was tired as shit all day and I might as well have been one of the bridesmaids considering I went everywhere they did and was up earlier than they were. Damn. Aside from all that, the make-up stayed on really well with a few touch-ups. Mostly lips and I touched up their blush and contours before the reception occured. Very happy it's over with. Other things have been on my mind lately but I'll save for later when I'm more up to typing and such. Just Try To Blow Me Out

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